November Remembers
“November. . . .is a season of loss and a season of despair. The world is brown and yellow and naked.” ― Tshetrim Tharchen, A Play of the Cosmos: Script of the Stars
Dear Friends,
Mid-November and the colder weather has finally arrived. Saturday saw temperatures in the low 80s and now I’m draining the outside spigot and wrapping it in a special little sleeve to prevent it from freezing.
The birdseed I put out in the morning is gone before noon, and even the groundhogs, already fattened for the winter, are still popping up here and there to grab the few nuts and fruit still clinging to naked limbs.
This time of year fills me with both wonder and sadness. I’m ready for the change of seasons when it arrives and it’s a relief to see the heat and humidity pack their bags for more southernly climes.
However, with the arrival of November, the holidays creep closer and bring with them memories and bittersweet emotions.
The empty chair at the head of the table.
The empty hospital bed that still resides in the family room.
A bag of his shoes slumps in my study door - ready to be donated.
Jackets and coats hang in the hallway - as if my father will slip them on and walk outside to fix something in his workshop - a workshop that sits unused and lonely, covered in dusty cobwebs and peeling paint.
Well-meaning friends would tell me to get rid of these reminders. That four years is ‘long enough’ to grieve. Or at least long enough to keep his material things around. As I remind my listeners on Clubhouse so often, grief has no deadline. This visceral absence will be with me until it is my turn to lie six feet under. For now, these items are physical evidence to my broken heart that he was here. And that he is not forgotten.
Your loved one isn’t forgotten either.
2022 Holiday Program
The holidays can be a nightmare even for those without the extra burden of grief. Imagine then how it feels for a griever to see everyone around them going on with their lives, concerned with buying the perfect gift or planning the perfect holiday dinner.
Meanwhile, there’s a widow who cries alone at night because she won’t have to worry about what to buy her husband who’s impossible to buy for.
A mother who stares blankly at her daughter’s stocking that will never be filled again.
A child who doesn’t believe in the magic of the season anymore since her father died.
And then there are those whose grief isn’t even seen because no one “died.” Yet their pain is real and their losses matter too.
With that in mind and understanding intimately how difficult the holidays can be for those of us who grieve, I launched a new program for this time of year.
The Holiday Encouragement Letter Program (H.E.L.P. for short) brings together my love for the handwritten letter and my passion for reaching in to the brokenhearted, instead of waiting for them to reach out.
If you have lost a loved one, or are having a tough time this holiday season, you can sign up to receive a holiday card with a handwritten note of encouragement from me. You can also choose to tell me your loved one’s name and a little about them so I can include them in my note.
Feel free to sign your grieving friend up – just make sure you receive their consent first.
Learn more by visiting my website or simply sign up below.
That’s it for now – a shorter newsletter for the shorter days.
How are you making it today? Do you find the shorter days more difficult? Or perhaps the holidays give you a chance to ignore the pain - at least while the lights are bright and friends and family are gathered together. It’s okay to do that every now and then - as long as you don’t ignore it forever.
Remember, grief isn’t a problem to be fixed. It is love with nowhere to go.
As always, I’m thinking of you and my email is always open or you can always DM me on Instagram.
Sending you peace, love, and light,
Michelle
P.S. Like what you read? Did you fine it valuable or comforting? Why not share it? I’d appreciate it so much! Thx! ~ MG
P.S. 2 Did a friend share this with you? Want to read more? Come on, subscribe! You know you want to! ;-)